Dorothy's Words of Wisdom

Sophia: (about apologizing to Max Winestock) I can't. Sicilians have a hard time with apologies.

Dorothy: They also have a hard time with passing wet cement without putting someone in it! But they manage!


(Rose passes around a partially eaten porkchop of Elvis' at a Hunka Hunka Burnin Love Fan Club meeting.)

Dorothy: Oh come on! I mean, this has to be a fake! Elvis would've never have left this much meat on a porkchop!! (starts laughing)

Blanche: Dorothy, you're outta the club! Meeting is adjourned! Thank you for comin! Well Dorothy, I hope you're not too upset about this.

Dorothy: I've just been thrown out of an un-authorized Elvis fan club! I'll try to pick up the pieces and go on with my life. I mean, there must be a support group for people like me!


Dorothy: Ma, even if there is a hurricane 'a-comin'-

Sophia: Don't patronize me!

Dorothy: I'm not patronizing you, I'm a-mockin you!!


(Talking about Stan going to the shrink and bonding with a fake monkey)

Blanche: Why doesn't he just use a fake woman?

Dorothy: Honey, that's why he's there in the first place!


Stan: Dorothy, I'm sorry this couldn't work out. Thank You for 38 years of love, companionship, friendship, and memories, I'll cherish them always.

Dorothy: Stan...(pauses)..Chao!!


Stan: I just felt so vulnerable!

Dorothy: Oh Stan, you big bald girl!!


(Talking about his sleeping with Dorothy's sister Gloria)

Stan: Dr. Halprin is on his way. This is all my fault!

Gloria: No, it's my fault.

Dorothy: Maybe it's my fault. I mean, who goes into their bedroom in the middle of the day without knocking?!

More great Dorothy wisecracks and firebacks coming soon!!!

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